I won't be offended if you choose not to read this post, because the truth is, it's about six years of blood and sweat and tears and laughter and joy all rolled into one and probably will mean nothing to anyone but me (and maybe my husband). Also, don't think that I'm implying that I'm the only one to ever go to college while raising a family. I know a lot of people have done it and will do it, but for those of you who've never had the joy of being a student and a mother, I thought I'd share what my experience was like! And for those of you who have experienced this, maybe you can relate to what I'm saying.
I am so very happy and relieved and a little nostalgic that I have to mark this moment! Tomorrow I will be graduating from ISU and for the first time in my life, I won't have the title of "student" in my near future!
Almost six years ago, I graduated from high school and entered the scary and exhilarating world of higher education. I registered as a dental hygiene major at Idaho State. Don't ask me where the dental hygiene part came from, because I honestly don't know. It just sort of evolved out of nowhere and I remember the feeling of relief that ISU had one of the top ten programs in the nation, because it gave me an acceptable excuse for not going further away from home for college! The truth was, I was eighteen and in love and scared of leaving my mommy and daddy and ISU was convenient and close.
I learned for the first time that fall what it was like to have a roommate and got myself bullied into working six days a week while taking fourteen credits. I also got engaged and somehow squeezed wedding planning into my already packed weeks of classes, work, and driving back and forth to Blackfoot to do laundry and see Jake. I learned that the Business Administration building is the one that says "College of Business" over it (after asking a friend from high school I ran into on the quad, who laughed at me) and learned that 8:00 am classes suck.
Dental hygiene lasted three semesters. After getting married in the middle of my second semester, flunking my first-ever class (Chemistry 101), and realizing I could be going to school for years just to qualify to apply for the program, I had to rethink things a bit. I talked to my mom and Jake and did some soul searching and came up with two options: journalism or education. In reality, I loved writing for the newspaper in high school, but I found even more fulfillment out of mentoring younger reporters. I spent a few weeks of my fourth semester undecided but ultimately chose education. I remember the immense feeling of relief upon realizing that I'd never have to take a science course again. I don't know what I was thinking before. I've always loved the idea of teaching.
Then I became a mother, and things got really interesting. With both babies I thought about taking a semester off, but I was too scared that I'd never come back. I learned to always pack snacks when I had classes all day (NOT ranch flavored Corn Nuts) and to wear good shoes. I was lucky enough to have my baby over the summer, even luckier to have a wonderful husband who provided for us enough that I could quit my job, and even luckier to have seven whole weeks with my baby before I had to, reluctantly, leave him with someone else.
I am INCREDIBLY lucky to have the family that I have, both my family and Jake's. Kandice, my big sister, watched Sayer for the first time. I remember her taking him from me and cuddling him close and yelling at me to get to class, and I remember being half in tears the whole time I was walking to my car even though I knew he was in great hands. I don't know what I'd do without all of our family: my mothers, Kandice, my sister-in-law Diana, who was always willing to fill in, and my sister-in-law Bethanie, who watched Sayer one semester on her only day off every week. My mother-in-law has done the bulk of babysitting over the last four years and even though she could be doing so many other things, she's never complained and for that I will be eternally grateful.
I learned what it was to have a baby in one arm and a laptop on my lap. I learned how exhausting education really was when I'd put my babies to bed before even thinking about doing homework. I learned what living on one income really meant when Jake started traveling further away so we could pay the bills.
I had the joy of having my sister enroll during my last three years of college. Finally, there was somebody to carpool with, somebody to try spinning with, somebody to eat lunch with, somebody who understood what it was like to juggle home and school every day. We grew pretty close and laughed at ourselves A LOT in spinning. We helped each other with assignments (mostly at the last minute) and grew really sick of the food at the SUB. We plotted family get-togethers and craft projects. Don't tell her I told you so, but having Kandice there my last three years saved me. She advised me on classes and drove me almost up to the door of my first class when I was seven months pregnant and miserable. She, more than almost anyone else, understands what it has taken to get my B.A.
I learned what it really means to have a teacher change your life. I had three such individuals in my career. So if you ever get the opportunity to take a class from Dr. Lynn Shutters in the English department or from Dr. Wendy Ruchti in the College of Education, please don't pass it up! From Lynn I learned to broaden my horizons when it came to reading literature, I learned to love Shakespeare and Kate Chopin and MAYBE Chaucer. From Wendy I learned that some people teach for the thrill of it, not for summers off or good hours or to get a coaching position. She taught me what teaching really means and what it takes to make a difference. Marci Bartu, who I worked with in my pre-internship, showed me that you don't have to make friends with kids to show them you care and that it's okay to hold a kid accountable and that maybe, just maybe, a teacher is still planning her lesson when the kids start showing up! She also taught me how to look past the bureaucratic crap and the legislative sessions and everything else that happens and to focus on the little people in the classroom.
I learned what it's like to drop my babies off to strangers and what a joy daycare can be, if you choose a good one. I learned how hard it is, after four months, to say goodbye to childcare providers who have become such a huge part of your kids' lives.
I thought I'd seen everything, and then I started my internship! I learned what it's like to work under somebody with a completely different style of teaching who is understandably very reluctant to hand over her classroom. I've learned that seventh graders are much more forgiving than juniors and seniors. I've learned that sometimes procrastination comes back to bite you when you're teaching three different subjects. I've learned what it's like to have somebody criticizing everything that I do and questioning me and my authority in front of students. I've learned, for the first time in my life, that some things are better left unsaid and that sometimes getting things off your chest when someone angers you isn't worth it. I've learned to deal with students who have kids, students with crappy parents or no parents at all, students who miss school because they were in jail or at home recovering from brain surgery or in bed having one seizure after another. I've learned the value of having teachers as friends (especially if they teach somewhere else and don't know who you're talking about) just so someone will know what you're upset about.
A student of mine who has a baby asked me the other day if it was easy to have kids and go to school. I laughed. Of course it's not easy! College is hard and parenting is harder and two hard things don't make an easy thing. What I did tell her, however, was that it's doable. It's frustrating and difficult and nearly impossible sometimes, but at the end of the day, I think I appreciate my degree more than a graduate who is single with no kids. I've never regretted any of what I did: I have a great husband, two beautiful kids, and a bachelor's degree, all in the span of six years. I truly understand what it means to "see the elephant".
.jpg)
